me nd my cougar gf
me: babe i love your necklace
gf: thats me Life Alert®

jimdoesntcarrey:

jimdoesntcarrey:

i have a speech in Art tomorrow on Surrealism and this is all i have so far

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update: the class groaned collectively 

guy:

popularboyfriend:

guy:

if hot dads make hot kids and ugly dads make hot kids then who makes the ugly kids??

ur dad

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high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

claphne:

send help

potatofreek:

penis-hilton:

hugcartel:

why is the mom telling her daughter she’s ready to shave?

why is the mom calling her daughter mom

maybe they are each other’s moms

potatofreek:

penis-hilton:

hugcartel:

why is the mom telling her daughter she’s ready to shave?

why is the mom calling her daughter mom

maybe they are each other’s moms

magik0rp:

Bitch please, I can totally match Ariana Grande’s vocal range. Just throw a cockroach at me

doctorwhothefuckisthis:

gleak:

if you a catfish sit the fuck down and reevaluate your life

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